Tuesday, March 02, 2004

So confuse nw... Nobody for me to tok to,though i noe this kind of thing i shud do it all by myself, but, i dunno either. Shud i continue a relationship which I dont want to sacrifice anithing for him, which i cant place him infront of my frens, which i cant giv my 100% in the relationship, which i see no future to it? End it now? Later?"yi tuo zai tuo...hui hao ma?" I dread his tears...I dread his endless phonecall(or maybe he wun call me again if i..). I dread everything bout a relationship nw!!! Actualli... he is a nice guy, simple minded, alittle ego, very protective(but i m nt the little sheep!), does not mind bout my little bro's condition...wad elsE? He been nice, juz i cant stand his controlling, makes me like a bird in the cage. I yearns for my freedom, I yearns to be a normal 18 yr old ger, do everything i want! I Cant stand tt he controls me more than my parents do!!! But...i noe i m contradicting now. Izzit weird to suddenly tell him I m giving up everything after 9 months? Why din i have the courage to do all this at least 8 months ago? Maybe the hurt would be lessen to the minimum? Can I be his fren after everything has cool down? I noe this is mean, but, seriously, who can tell me how? I guess i do not fear bout my tears le, i do not fear bout being alone, do not fear of feeling regret...all i fear now is his reaction. I hope...everything will be fine after all this, everything will be back to normal juz like 9months ago...8)

Juz for everyone info.THe sakae buffet..nid to bring along the chinese newspaper on sun...the smallest copy inside got one page on sakae. Den will u be able to enjoy the cheap buffet..but i tink PAradiz Centre Edo got more benefit..8X