Saturday, July 10, 2004

As I open my eyes,
all I see is tons of vehicles passing by,
all seems to be at a loss of directions,
where nobody is able to control the vehicle.
I cant cross the road!
There isnt any traffic light or overhead bridge for me.
And the traffic is too heavy whcih makes jay-walking almost impossible.
I have to cross the road!
I have to complete the journey!
But I see nobody.
Nobody for me to seek.
Help! I am lost!
Lost in a world of my own...

I dont have pro english. So pardon me.

Your darkest secret is your greatest fear. Agree?

Sometimes you just cant be yourself. You wont know what's passing through in the other's mind. There's still things where you cant be yourself, cant express it out. All you can do is control! And the feeling sucks! I know it. But there's still a need for you to control yourself, so as to protect yourself. The more you present yourself, the more comments people have for you, the more weakness you will reveal to others. And the more people will have the chance to take advantage on you So why bother when there's some sayings like you shouldnt reveal your weakness to the others?

Today isnt really pleasant. First I forgot to bring my shorts and hence swimming had to be cancelled. Sorry Girl. Then was getting caught by a lecturer for wearing slipper. Bad enough. Went to Town with Kim and the usual guys. Too tired maybe. Din enjoy much. Pretty slack. Some unpleasant thing happen towards the end but shall not elaborate much. Just hope things dont get worse. 8D
And Chester call me today. Influence my mood quite abit. Is he playing some mind games with me? Quit it! Go Away!I sense something bad is going to happen. Let's just pray all will be good and fine. But sitting around with them and chit chatting is fun! I love it. And they dont go for expensive food! Probably I am the only one. 8X. But I dont always go for expensive food either! 8D. I love you guys for creating alot of fun in my recent days. Thanks. 8D

"There are friends that you should keep and friends that you should leave." -Benjamin
Pretty true...But human evolves. things changes. People can change. To the better or worse. Give chances. I hope I can. And if so, do I consider the type of friends people should keep or leave? All the while I thought people will all be happy if I am the clown and stuff like that. But it's so different from my thoughts! Like what Yuming says, before interacting with me, he finds me irritating. I guess alot others would agree with him. And I am sure some, even after interaction still thinks I am a blardy idiot. Noisy. Childish. So wth should I be a clown? Maybe I shall learn from some feminine girls about make ups, dressings, behaviours and stuff. But this way, there will be people saying why aren't you being yourself? Why should you act? FAKE! Damm. But I wont be happy that way... damm damm damm!!!!!!!

"God is fair"- Benjamin and Yuming.
Pretty true too. But, there's still people being treated unfairly.

Lost for now. Hope it wont take me long to realise where I want to head. And can some kind soul out there kindly tell me what do I need to change? I will accept everything. And also, what is it fair that god has given me? What is my strong point? What is my talent?

Where are you when I need you the most?