Monday, July 05, 2004

Childish, noisy, hyperactive, full of nonsense. This should be my 1st impression to people. Espcially to the OGL gang. Hmm, I cant help but I disagree to it. Or rather, it might be true, but dont judge my whole just like that! I believe alot of people have 2 faces(or maybe more). Your have yet to see the other side of me. Hee.8D. However if friends get so close, we will slowly discover more about the person and when we know more, then we would most probably get to know things about them which we hate/dislike. Yucks! The theory of human is so so so complex. How many actually live it up to "Just being my true self" each day and to everybody? If it's so easy to get by with just passing the days just being urself, life would be so much simpler. You have to change to make others accept you. For example, you got a sucky attitude, but to make friends hang around you more, you have to control your attitude, just because you are afraid they cant stand your attitude and leave you! You will be so lonely then! Let's see the situation when we be ourself. You got that sucky attitude, you hang around with your friends, show your attitude all that, sooner or later, I guess they would most probably get pissed off by it and leave you. So which one do you prefer? Does it make sense? Maybe you would now think that it's ok, accept me for who I am, cant accept it then back off. But what will happen when most of your friends left you? Will you still think that way when you got lil friends? Friends arent yours, they grow up like you do, they have their own things to do and they cant be there for you a lifetime! And they arent out there for you to show your sucky attitude either! And why do people advices others to change when they hope people behave in their very own manner? If only everyone have a BIG heart with high level of acceptance rate, it would be so much easier. But I dare say people like this are endangered. "Little until Pitiful".

Anyway, the above doesnt refer to anybody. Though it might sound familiar. 8D

I hate it when I cant get out of that hole but I am pushing myself into the deadly hole.
I hate the realistic feeling but I am force to face it every now and then.
I hate it when people worry for me but I love to see them worry. I hate to be your friend but I want to be your friend.
I hate him having the power in this game but I cant seem to be the one in power.
I hate it when you tell me about them but I am always curious about it and craving for more.
I hate it when I thought I can but I cant actually.
I hate to give up but giving up seems to be the only way.
I hate to stay in contact with you but I cant bear to stop contacting you.
I hate it when I feel happy but it only last for awhile.
I hate to make choices but there's so many things I have to decide.
I hate to be independent but I don't want to be dependent on anybody.
I hate people who take me for granted but I take people for granted too.
I hate it when I got no time for family and friends but I dont seems to have the time for them.
I hate missing someone but I just love the feeling of "miss".
I hate it I know you are the wrong choice to make but I just want to make you the right choice.
I hate to know so much but I know everything. Everything except your feelings!

All the above "I hate" is filled with so much contradictions yeah? But life's like that! Live with it though you hate. It's just like you hate to study but you have to! 8D.

*retreating back to my room*